The Time Before - a creation story
Before Uithol, the Forger, created the planets and the gods, there was only energy. He looked around him and knew that nothing could grow in the chaotic and unstable forces around him so he set forth to tame them. Starting with the worst points in the chaos, he forced them into the shapes of planets and stars. This was difficult for the energy was too strong and many of his constructions were destroyed as he made them. Uithol persevered until not even he could count his creations. With so much of the energy bottled up in constructs, the rest of the energy was considerably more manageable, but still nothing would grow. For one of his newly formed planets he created air, water, plants and animals. Though the chaotic forces had been reduced, the delicate nature of these new creations left them vulnerable, and eventually they were torn apart. In a rage he bottled up all of the energy and locked it away. However, without it, the world became stagnant and he could not recreate the plants and animals that he had so enjoyed.
For an eon the Forger sat and brooded, and for an eon the celestial bodies floated along the paths that he had set them upon. Nothing else moved, and nothing changed. Finally, he had an idea. He took the energy and spun it into fibers. Of these fibers, he wove a loose fabric that spread across all that he had made. Once again he released the chaos upon the cosmos, but the weave held it back. Creation was protected from most of the chaos; some energy, however, slipped between the fibers. This slow trickle of energy provided what was needed to allow the plants and animals to thrive.
Happy with his new canvas, Uithol created world upon world of life, delighting in the variety that was now possible. When he had spent twice the time on creating life as he had on the celestial bodies, he looked around and was amazed to find that only a small fraction of the worlds had felt life’s touch. This would just not do. The Forger created helpers whom he called Sazel to help him, and taught them how to harness the energy of the weave for they were much too fragile to touch the chaotic energy from the other side. They learned, from the worlds he created, how to use this energy to shape and mold the unused planets.
For a time Uithol was pleased with the progress and spent his time watching the creations unfold. His decision to create helpers was working out well for the variety that was fashioned far exceeded what any single being could conceive. Soon, though, there were no more worlds left empty and none of the Sazel wanted their work discarded to make room for another’s. Fighting broke out, worlds were ravaged, and many of the Sazel were killed.
Uithol cried out at the destruction he witnessed, but it did not stop. Sorrowfully he entered the fray to destroy all those who would strike out at others, but the numbers were too great, and the Sazel nearly overpowered him. In desperation the Forger reached for the fabric separating creation from chaos and tore it asunder. The flood of power washed away his attackers and laid waste to much of creation. He sealed the hole and looked with tears at the devastation around him. So much of what had been made was lost -- variety that would never be seen again.
He called on those helpers who had wisely stayed hidden during the fighting to help him repair some of the damage, but he decreed that the worlds left completely without life would stay that way as a reminder of what had happened.
Reconstruction was long for very few helpers remained. Uithol despaired every time he encountered a trace of life that would never again thrive. In sorrow he began to work slower and slower until at last he could stand to see no more death. Unmoving and once again brooding, the Forger sat on the world that first felt the touch of life -- a world that would forevermore remain barren.
The remaining Sazel tried to console him. They brought him the most beautiful things they could make, but he would not be roused. They brought him samples of all the variety they could find. Nothing worked until one day, while looking at one of the offerings, a spark lit his eyes. Here was something entirely new, and surprisingly it had not been created by any of his helpers.
He called to the Sazel, but none of them could remember where the sample had come from. He searched for it everywhere, and though he found many items that had not been made by his helpers, he did not find the special race that had sparked his interest. Failing in his first search, the Forger began another. First, he collected samples of every species unknown to him. Then he asked the Sazel to remove the ones they had created. With more help he weeded out the species created by those Sazel who had been destroyed. Uithol pored over the remainder seeking to discover the secret of their creation. It eluded him at first, but after much research, he found the key: these things had been born of the chaotic flood released when he defeated the Sazel uprising.
This gave the Forger an idea and he immediately set off to put it in motion. Everywhere he went the weave changed. It became responsive to the chaos it held in check, sometimes letting in more chaos, sometimes less. Results were immediate. All of creation began to change as it grew. Offspring were no longer limited to being the same as those who sired them.
Of the original race that sparked the Forger’s curiosity, he found no trace, but he remembered the two things that made it different. The first of these was consciousness, and he made other races with this difference. He gave them to his helpers to modify and spread throughout the lands. With the second difference, he took a different approach for in it he saw himself. This race that had eluded him could use the power on the other side of the weave and even pass through it. He forbade the Sazel from creating races with that ability. Though he could not find the original race, he knew they were still out there. He named them the Elielle, and let it be known among the Sazel that no interference in the lives of his chosen would be tolerated for he wanted to see what that race could do on its own. They did not disappoint.















Comments
I would like to see it being a part of something bigger, a bigger fantasy story perhaps? It would fit in nicely.
Pros: Very atmospheric, nicely written.
Cons
Lack of originality (The theme does not deviate much from the usual God-creates servants-uprise-and-fall creation style. However you can add original elements that make the story more interesting.)
Some expressions seem cliched.
Seems unfinished (Complete it,man!!
Overall, I liked it! ok? Keep on!!! Nice.
Nektarios-Greece
I love the way it reads.. the concept of the chaos promoting life while endangering it... it definitely needs creating.. you have the elements for something really great there.... carry on and give your audience what they are asking for....
you know what i almost got caught again... well it was worth it...
However, in the first two paragraphs you use the word 'Energy' a dozen times. (o.k. 11, but still) That's my only complaint. A quick revision, cut a few out, rearrange or some such thing and you're golden. It's excellent.
Also, do tell, why no recent posts?
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press your space face close to mine love
You are more than welcome to write in the worlds I create. That has been my intention from the begining. I wanted to create a world then write the background for some of the characters then have the readers run with it.
As to why no recent posts, I tend to throw myself completely into one or two obsessions at a time, and those tend to rotate through reading, writing, computer games, or socializing. Others sneek in from time to time, but I still devote all my time to one or two at a time. When I get caught up with reading my new group, I plan to write more.
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I doent kare wat u thinc it whent throo the spel chekr so I'm n't reesponzibull fore it.
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press your space face close to mine love
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